Where are the adoration fireworks?

In adoration the other night I kept waiting for God's fireworks to hit me.  I prayed that God would put on a huge show for me.  Then I'd be one hundred percent sure that God is God and I am not! I wanted a bog old Eucharistic miracle right there in front of me, you know, for it to start bleeding or turn to actual flesh or something like that!

My brain knows that the Eucharist is the true presence of Jesus, I have read John 6:32-66 over and over and have even blogged about the Eucharist right here on this blog.  What I wanted was to know it's true presence in my heart.  My faith is a knowledge based faith and I am in the process of turning that knowledge into love for the faith that I know.  I need to make my brain faith become my heart faith as well.  I was waiting for my Thomas moment where I could declare "My Lord and my God" and have all doubt washed away for good.  

I bowed my head and prayed.  I prayed for forgiveness for my doubt, for understanding and wisdom and knowledge and God hit me upside the head with several verses. 


John 20:27 Then he said to Thomas, “Put your finger here and see my hands, and bring your hand and put it into my side, and do not be unbelieving, but believe.”Thomas answered and said to him, “My Lord and my God!” Jesus said to him, “Have you come to believe because you have seen me? Blessed are those who have not seen and have believed.”


Those last words, "Blessed are those who have not seen and have believed" really struck me.  I clearly have doubt and am looking for something supernatural to see before my heart will believe!  God shouldn't have to put on a display for us, it is us who should believe regardless.  


The next verse that popped into my head took care of why God doesn't work in fireworks and showmanship.


1 Kings 19:11-13  Then the LORD said: Go out and stand on the mountain before the LORD; the LORD will pass by. There was a strong and violent wind rending the mountains and crushing rocks before the LORD—but the LORD was not in the wind; after the wind, an earthquake—but the LORD was not in the earthquake; after the earthquake, fire—but the LORD was not in the fire; after the fire, a light silent sound. When he heard this, Elijah hid his face in his cloak and went out and stood at the entrance of the cave. 


God isn't a God of fireworks and explosions and all that.  He isn't an action movie just waiting to play out in front of us.  God is in the quiet, the peaceful, the serene.  It's in quiet places like adoration, a walk in the woods and at Mass (although sometimes that isn't a very quiet place at all) that we will find God.  It's when our phones are off, our technology has been put aside and our brains are at rest.  God will be found when, after receiving the Eucharist we go back to our pews, bow our heads and truly thank God for the gift he has just given us.


It is there we will find God.  My brain knows he is there, my heart is slowly coming along.