Pray for your spouse/future spouse

 

Deacon Kevin Gingras

October 15, 2023

28th Sunday in Ordinary Time

https://bible.usccb.org/bible/readings/101523.cfm

Is 25:6-10a     Ps 23:1-3a, 3b-4, 5, 6

Phil 4:12-14, 19-20     Mt 22:1-14

Scripture is full of analogies comparing Heaven to a wedding feast.  St. Paul often calls Christ the bridegroom of the Church.  We see this in today’s readings from sacred scripture.  Jesus’ first miracle occurred at a wedding banquet, emphasizing the sanctity of marriage that the Catholic Church holds tight to.

Last month I mentioned Confession as a forgotten sacrament. We could easily include marriage as a forgotten sacrament as well.  Last year we only had one single sacramental marriage at Holy Family Church - just one. But why have a Sacramental marriage?  I hope to explain that now.

The Catechism of the Catholic Church has this to say:

God himself is the author of marriage." The vocation to marriage is written in the very nature of man and woman as they came from the hand of the Creator. Marriage is not a purely human institution despite the many variations it may have undergone through the centuries in different cultures, social structures, and spiritual attitudes. 

The Sacrament of marriage is written on our souls by our creator!  If that’s not reason enough I don’t know what is.

Let’s take a trip back to October of 1984.  It’s when I started dating the girl I would marry.  She was a Junior in High School and I was a Freshman at Bridgewater State.  I was working at St. Thomas Aquinas in Bridgewater MA.  It’s where Allison and I met, she was teaching religious ed and I was out mowing the lawns.  Even though I was an all-knowing teenager at the time the Holy Spirit was there, invisibly guiding me along.  Skip ahead about 5 years and we began to plan our wedding and decided we should get married at St. Thomas.  This was one of those unseen nudges from the Holy Spirit also as neither of us were practicing our faith at the time but we went ahead and set up a meeting with the priest anyway. St. Thomas was where we met and where I worked for eight years so we had that nostalgia driving us there too.  From that first meeting with the priest at the rectory we had all the priests at the rectory, four of them, praying for us.  At our rehearsal the night before the wedding Fr. Ed Serena suggested we go to confession.  We did and to be honest, I was truly penitent and glad we went!

We were going to have a full mass and he reminded us we should be in a state of grace not only for the full efficacy of the sacrament of marriage but also to receive Jesus in the eucharist.  The wedding was beautiful and moving.  Our second reading today reminds me of the wedding vows as St. Paul:

I know how to live in humble circumstances; I know also how to live with abundance … I have learned the secret of being well-fed and of going hungry, of living in abundance and of being in need.

For better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health.  St Paul also reminds us that it is God who will fully supply whatever we need.

Sadly, at that time our faith was like the seed that fell on the rocky ground, sprang up at once but was soon scorched and withered for lack of roots.  We again stopped going to church soon after our wedding.

It wasn’t until four years later when we decided that we wanted children after all that we came back.  We came back with a passion knowing we had lost time to make up for.  We were asked to be lectors, and Extraordinary Ministers of the Eucharist, sang in the choir (no, not me, only Allison!!), were youth ministers, helped organize Vacation Bible School, and taught religious education and other things at St. Ann’s in Raynham.

Now I’m not saying all this to brag but to illustrate what the Holy Spirit knew far before that all-knowing teenager that I was.  Without that sacramental marriage, we wouldn’t have done all that, we wouldn’t have gone to China to adopt, and I certainly would not be preaching to you today as a deacon.  None of this would have happened, in fact, we might not even still be married today calling it quits during the tougher godless times we went through.

But what can we do now?  We can certainly pray for an increase in the vocation of Catholic marriages.  If you are grandparents or great-grandparents pray for your grandchildren and for their future spouses.  As parents, you should also pray for your children and their future spouses if they are not married.  If you are single start praying immediately for your future spouse, God already knows who they are, ask Him for guidance!  If you are much younger and still think boys or girls still have cooties, well, someday that will change, you can and should pray for your future spouse as well however gross that may sound to you!

Pray often and deeply for a return of the sacrament of marriage - it can save our church, our community, and even our society!

I’ll leave you with these thoughts from St. Josemaría Escrivá: 

“Marriage is to help married people sanctify themselves and others. For this reason, they receive a special grace in the sacrament which Jesus instituted. Those who are called to the married state will, with the grace of God, find within their state everything they need to be holy.”

Lost and Found

Homily for September 15, 2019, Twenty Fourth Sunday in Ordinary Time http://www.usccb.org/bible/readings/091519.cfm As Saint Paul said in his letter to Timothy:

Indeed the grace of our Lord has been abundant, along with the faith and love that are in Christ Jesus.

At this point in my life, I want to stay inside that circle of faith and love that Christ Jesus radiates but it wasn’t always so. The Gospel today presents three different ways that we might stray from that circle of faith and love. First, we hear of the lost coin. To me, this represents when we strayed only a little, maybe momentarily turning away from God but our sorrow for that comes soon and we repent quickly. Perhaps it’s partaking in the water cooler gossip at work or losing your temper at others while driving. Whatever the occasion for sin, our return to Christ is fast, we are a lost coin quickly found. Next up is the lost sheep. The lost sheep strayed for a bit longer, days or even weeks. Some become the lost sheep every week, right after Mass ends while leaving the parking lot up until the next Mass. We must remember God has given us everything we have during the week as well, our houses, our cars, our jobs, and our families, not just the Church where we attend Mass each weekend. When we wonder how we can separate ourselves from God so quickly all we need to do is read the first reading from Exodus. The people have witnessed first-hand many miracles that God provided for them yet when Moses goes up to the mountain for a while the people decide to become depraved, make a golden calf, and worship that instead of the one true God. Moses intercedes for the people, just as Jesus has done for us, and God’s mercy shows through. He relents in his punishment. They had become the lost sheep while Moses was on the mountain. Finally, we hear of the Prodigal son. This parable represents when we have strayed for a long time, years or even decades! I was the prodigal son once myself. I left the faith for about 7 years through college and into my young adulthood so I can echo what St. Paul tells Timothy in his letter:

Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners. I was mercifully treated so that in me, Christ Jesus might display all his patience as an example for those who would come to believe in Him for everlasting life.

I paraphrased here, leaving out the parts that make me look like I a complete heretic but you get the idea! I was separated from God but even then God still loved me and sought me out. I was totally ignorant of the fact that God was looking for me, well, I should say us because my wife was a prodigal daughter as well. Even though we were still newly married with new careers and a bit of money in our pockets our lives felt empty and we weren’t able to fill that void with what society was teaching us. With a nudge from the Holy Spirit, and also the nudge of my wife, we decided to go back to Church. A few weeks, later the nudge came again, and we decided to go to Confession so we could return to receiving the Eucharist. Once that happened there was no looking back, God wrapped us in the finest robe of his love and there we have stayed and grown in our faith to this very day. We are still far from perfect but our aim is perfection and as long as we grow closer to the target each day we are headed in the right direction. We all have somebody we know as a 'Prodigal Son or Daughter'. They must know that no matter how far away from God they are He will look for them but when He finds them, they must play an active role in their salvation, it is up to them to follow Him back regardless of how far or long they have strayed. If a lost sheep hides in a crag in a cliff silently you won’t find it, but that’s not what a lost sheep does. It will fearfully bleat until the shepherd finds it. The prodigal son needed to hit rock bottom, desiring to eat the food fed to the pigs to finally allow the nudge of the Holy Spirit to work in him. Only then did he return home to his loving father who was constantly on the lookout for his return. It’s so easy today to stray from God when we are not within the walls of a sacred Church building. Much of what society teaches is contrary to our faith. We need the tools that our Catholic Church gives us. We need the sacraments first and foremost. Receive the Eucharist as often as possible and when you do be in a state of grace! The Catechism of the Catholic Church stresses this in Paragraph 1415:

Anyone who desires to receive Christ in Eucharistic communion must be in the state of grace.

To get back in that state we need to receive the graces that the sacrament of Confession gives us. Personally, I find this the sacrament I dislike the most before receiving it but love it the most once the prayer of absolution is said. The more you go the easier it gets! When I’m preparing to go I contemplate Psalm 65:

To you, all flesh will come, with its burden of sin. Too heavy for us, our offenses, but you wipe them away

I imagine all my sins, written on a big...a very big whiteboard. The priest, who represents Jesus in persona Christi, that is, in the person of Christ, takes a big eraser and clears the whiteboard, all that sin is gone just like that. It’s a very refreshing feeling! We can also use the tools that our very own Church offers us. For the men look to see if your parish has TMIY, for the women some parishes offer WINE - Women In the New Evangelization. Check to see if you have a Bible study. Faith is important for your children too, make your children's Religious Education classes a priority. Look to see if the is a local adoration chapel, and that’s for all ages, children too. Try bringing your kids and go for only 15 minutes to start, you don’t need to sign up, just show up. Take the time to pray, in the presence of Jesus, for all those who have strayed. While there, ask Jesus for the guidance of the Holy Spirit and the words to say to those who have strayed to invite them back into the Church where they can find healing and a home. Tell those you know the good news of these stories; that no matter how far away from God we may go, He cares about each and every one of us VERY intensely whether you are a lost coin, a lost sheep, or a prodigal son. God will search for you. All we need to do is let God find us. What better saint to quote then probably the most famous prodigal son of them all, St. Augustine, who said:

Forgiveness is the remission of sins. For it is by this that what has been lost, and was found, is saved from being lost again.